A Day in My Life

Ugly Betty

2006-10-19T17:46:00.001-07:00

I really like the new show Ugly Betty.

Lost

2006-10-19T17:41:00.000-07:00

I didn't see lost this week! Somebody please give me an update.

Leaning Completely on GOD

2006-09-29T16:49:00.000-07:00

Leaning completely on God. You know those times in your life where God has put you in a spot where you have no choice, but to completely trust in Him. I am in one of those spots. I am living by myself and doing a job that is challenging to say the least. I never realized how much of my self-worth is wrapped up in being successful. I am learning that I really don't like to be wrong and when I am I don't react very well. I feel lost without people nearby to be around and do things with. I feel like a Psalmist so much lately. My prayers start out, with me angry, confused, tired, and sad and end up relieved, praising God, and ready to face the next obsticle. So will this blog. The Lord is my Protector and Provider and He is so good to be teaching me and making me more like Him. I am not overwhelmed because He is taking care of everything. I am learning to wait and let Him take care of things... He will and they will be better than my plans, too.

Twists and Turns of Life

2006-08-20T14:24:00.000-07:00

I always thought that life was a certain way: Adults are just, fair, and good; Everyone has a clear and direct purpose; We all live happily ever after. Life isn't that way. How do we have joy when we look at life in the wrecked state it is in? I think we have to put our hope in the only thing that will never fail us.

Lebanon

2006-08-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

All my American friends who were stuck in Lebanon are safe and in the US. My Lebanese friends I still worry about. I don't know how they are doing. I got an email from one saying that they are very scared and they and their entire family are huddled together in a 1 room house just outside of the Muslim side of town. They could get out and go to the Philipeans, but it would take a lot of money. Keep praying

Dream Job

2006-06-21T05:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was reading a book about finding your dream job. One of the exercises is to draw your dream world. When I was doing that I started to think about all the things I want out of life. It surprised me at how many of those things I ignore on a regular basis. I still haven't figured out what my ideal job would be, though.

Living Dead

2006-06-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

These guys at work have a blood pressure measuring device. When I tried it it showed that my blood pressure was 84/43. I tried it twice and they were similar Average blood pressure is 120/80. One of the other guys tried it and his was 119/79. I don't know if the device is wrong or if my blood pressure is really that low.

Exciting Date

2006-06-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

Leonard's coming tomorrow!

hmm... it doesn't feel as exciting to me when I don't use his real name.

What's to Become of Me?

2006-06-05T21:16:00.000-07:00

I have been pondering my purpose a lot lately. I keep trying to figure out what I could do that would be pleasing to God. Should I be an engineer? resturant owner? house wife? missionary?

There is a quote by Eric Little that goes something like, "God made me for a purpose, that purpose is for China, but He also made to run and when I run I feel His pleasure.” It keeps coming back to me. What could I do to evoke pleasure from God? I run through the list again. Maybe I am missing something maybe I am not thinking productive enough, or too productive, or too big, or too small.

I don't think I am missing anything. I don't think I am supposed to know right now. I do know that I am supposed to trust Him and be obedient in what He is telling me to do today. Maybe my quote should be something like, "God made me for a purpose, that purpose only He knows, but when I trust Him I feel His pleasure."

Marriage

2006-06-04T13:28:00.000-07:00

I have been reading Mere Christianity (by C.S. Lewis) lately. Today I read the Christian Morality chapter about Marriage. Clive says that being "in love" doesn't last. He says that being in love is like starting a new hobby, after a while the hobby isn't as exciting as it used to be. You now move on to being coming an expert at that hobby, but in order to feel the excitement that you first felt when doing that hobby you have to discover something new.

At first I thought, what's the point? Why even get married? If the only purpose of marriage is commitment and companionship why not just find a faithful friend and commit to stick it out through thick and thin?

Then I realized that he defined being "in love" as something very different than I did. He defined being in love as being completely infatuated with something to the point that it would squash out every other interest in your life (you will have to read the book I do not intend on drawing out his whole arguement). To me being "in love" means wanting to share life with that person. When I am in love, I don't want to quit having other friends or doing other fun things I want to do or relate them with that other person. I don't want them to quit finding other people or things interesting, in fact I want quit the opposite. One of the things I love about Leonard is that he has a lust for life. He loves hobbies and finding out new facts. I love that he loves those things and that he shares them with me. I love doing the same. The only love that I have any desire to keep my future husband from is love for another woman. I only want to keep him from that because our commitment is the heart of our relationship and his loving another woman threatens that.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Oh, by the way my hair and arm smell much better.

2006-05-28T23:18:00.000-07:00

I have had a strong desire to blog regularly again. I have been thinking about it a lot lately and I have even been coming up with some stories and refections on life that I want to share with everybody. Then, last week one of my friends told me she missed my blog and I knew I needed to. It is a way I can creatively express myself and my life. My boyfriend, who I will call Leonard (to encourage healthy internet interaction and protect him from being stalked) says that it is therapeutic. I think he's right.

In a complete change of subject, I have to tell you about an odd thing that happened to me today. When I was working on the paper machine, I got some horrible smelling pulp-like matter in my hair and all over my arm, but tonight when I took a shower the smell didn't go away. It is definately lighter than it was, but I can still distinctly smell it. I considered taking another shower, but I had already washed my arm twice before I took a shower attempting to get rid of the smell, so I figured it was useless. I figure once my skin goes through the natural shedding cycle it will go away (maybe I can use an exfoliant), but what should I do about my hair? I can't wait for it to fall out. It must be coming out anyway, at least slowly if the smell is fading. If you have any ideas please share them with me.

2006-01-12T17:27:00.000-08:00

I haven't written in a while, so I just thought I would write and let everyone know I am doing alright. I am on a business trip for training in Tampa, FL right now. It has been really good, but I am constantly overwhelmed by how little I know. There is so much to know out there. It is like trying to eat a ice cream sunday the size of the empire state building.

Also my lonely times are almost over! Dana is moving into our house as we speak. In case you don't know I moved to another town nearby, because my friend Dana Kermannian got a job there and we are going to live together.

Thanksgiving

2005-11-30T15:53:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is a great time of year to really meditate on things that you are thankful for. I had the opportunity to spend Thanksgiving with Daniel and his family and I am very thankful for that. I am thankful and indebted to my friends and family who continuously support and encourage me. I am in awe and thankful of those which sacrifice being with their families to serve the Lord in a far foreign land.

These are great things to be thankful for, but the thing I am most thankful for this year is God's grace and mercy. The extent that these are applied to my life eludes me, yet I am still constantly amazed. Even when we are judgmental of others, having forgotten the forgiveness that is given to us, He is merciful and does not give us (who are saved) what we do deserve (eternity in hell). Infact He does quite the opposite and showers us with grace, giving us what we do not deserve (eternity in an intimate relationship with Him). And in all of this, He is completely patient with us. I know that when someone miss treats me I want to rise up in my heart and say, "How could they do that!" But God constantly reminds me of my failures and His reaction toward me and I cannot help but let my heart melt for that other person.

The Thanksgiving and Christmas season are supposed to be a time of joy, peace, love, giving, thankfulness (I could go on), strangely they often end up being quite the opposite. We so easily get caught up in what we need to get done, cramming as much "fun" in as possible and we somehow miss the point. I guess I just want to remember when I am driving down the highway hurriedly trying to get to the store and somebody cuts me off, to think of the fact that I am sure I have done it unknowingly or at least been tempted to do it some time earlier. I want to find joy, when the last toy is grabbed by another, in letting them have it. I want to walk down the street and see a hungry person and take time to give them a warm meal and hear their story. Even if I miss out on some of the things that I thought would be joyful, I know I will find a greater joy in giving and forgiving, God's joy.

Thanksgiving Break

2005-11-22T16:06:00.000-08:00

One of the hard things about working as opposed to school is that although I don't have to work 24/7, I don't get many days off either. But one huge blessing of thanksgiving is that you get a couple of days off. I plan to spend my days with this great guy I know up in South Bend, Indiana! It is going to be so much fun!!

Adventures in Hugo

2005-09-19T17:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I am alive and well in Hugo, OK. I have been living here for almost 7 weeks now. It has been a cultural experience. I would have never expected it, but living in Beirut this summer really prepared me for my new residence. In many ways southeastern Oklahoma is a different culture. During hunting season everyone takes off work and goes bow hunting and musket hunting shooting all different types of animals from deer to quail. I am not saying the nobody in The City hunts, but it is not ingrained into the mass life in the same way. It seems like everybody owns a truck. I don’t think I have seen so many trucks in my life. They even speak a different language. There are a lot of words that are different in Southeastern Oklahomaese. I will make it an effort to teach you guys as I learn. One of the first words I learned was beauty operator. Other synonyms for beauty operator include: beautician, hair stylist, hair dresser, and barber.

It is much different just geographically living out in the country. I drive 24 miles to work everyday and nobody even bats an eye at that. Some people drive upto 2 hours each way to come to work. There is also living so far away from stores and the other conveniences of city life. Fortunately for me, there is a super Wal-Mart in my town and what else could you need? I do really miss some of my favorite restaurants, so if anybody wants to come to Hugo and open a Schlotzski’s I would be up for that. In spite of all that has been said about small towns, I have learned that they can be quite eventful places. One time in particular that comes to mind is when Lindsay Wilson came to visit me from the big city.

We were driving through the middle of town, even past Hugo’s own super Wal-Mart, when out of nowhere a deer comes running across the road. Unfortunately for the deer and despite the swerving on our part we were unable to miss it completely and one of it’s hind legs was nicked. He never missed a stride though, thanks to some quick thinking by Lindsay. Seriously, how many people in Norman can say they have hit a deer in front of Wal-Mart on the city’s main street? How many people anywhere? I would have to say that is some excitement.

I've Been So Hungry This Week

2005-09-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

I recently discovered that the last blog I wrote in Beirut didn't get posted, so here it is.

July 13, 2005

One of the things I asked the Lord for this summer was more hunger for His word. When I prayed this I thought that He would give me this overwhelming desire that I didn��t know where it came from and I would just want to read the Bible all the time. This didn��t happen. He has shown me through the last couple of weeks in a way I didn��t expect.Since Walid came to believe, one of the workers here has been going with us to share with him. I noticed that our approaches were different in sharing with Walid. One way it was different was when Walid would ask a question I would just answer it from what I know. The worker would bring out the Bible and have Walid read the passage to see what it said for himself. These seemed the same the first time I saw them, except my way seemed faster. The second time, I realized the difference. If I share something with Walid he doesn��t know it for himself. If somebody else comes along and shares something contrary with him, Walid has no way to defend what he believes, because all he knows is that Beverly said it was in the Bible. If Walid, takes the Bible, reads the verse and the context, he knows why he believes. If somebody else shares with him, he will not be so easily persuaded. He will know how to look for himself.The more I thought about this, the more I realized I am a product of this same problem. I have been too lazy at times to really look and see if what somebody told me is the same thing I get out of the passage. The reason I just tell people something is in the Bible is because I have not been disciplined enough to know exactly where it is. When I realized this it gave me an intense desire to read God��s word! I want to know for myself and I want to know so that others will know for themselves. Isn��t He good?

Homeless Children

2005-07-06T13:41:00.000-07:00

Homeless children are teaching me so much about God�s love. I don�t want you guys to think that I am more than I am, by giving to the poor, but I can�t keep these lessons inside me.

A couple of weeks ago, I was walking down the street with Kendra Thompson to get breakfast, when a beggar boy asked me for food. I told him that we were going to get breakfast and that if he came with me I would buy him some. So he came and he brought his brother. I was standing there waiting for them to tell me what they wanted. The younger boy, got these small triangular spinach type rolls. They are the cheapest thing on the menu at
33 cents. Then I told the older boy to tell the guy what he wanted. He told him in Arabic and the man made a face. I asked him what was wrong. He said to me he wants the Monaeesh with meat. My first response was to think that they were out, but the man proceed to tell me that it was the most expensive thing they sold at a selling price of $1. I said that that was fine and I would get it for him. It seemed silly to me that the vendor w
ould be so indignant over this. What was the difference between 33 cents and $1 to me? As we were leaving I noticed that the younger brother asked his older brother for some of what he got and they shared it.

Later on I was retelling this incidence when it occurred to me that it was a great picture of God�s love. God showed me three things through the situation. Firstly, I gave to these boys because God�s word says to, �give to everyone who asks of you.� God�s word says to us, �Ask and you will receive.� Then the younger brother asked for something small, because he thought then he will definitely get something, but the older brother asked f
or what he wanted. They both received, but only one of them was happy for what he got. God wants to give us good gifts and we don�t have to ask for the smallest, cheapest, easiest thing possible, but we can really dare to ask Him for what we really want, because He rejoices in giving good gifts to His children. Then the third lesson I learned was that price is of no consequence to God. The boy dared to ask for something big and even the
vendor man was indignant to him, because he had this mentality that if you can�t provide it you should be happy with as little as possible. What the vendor man didn�t realize was that the difference in price was of no consequence to me. If I was back home in the states and I lost $1 vs. loosing 33 cents, it wouldn�t have made a difference to me. Think about how much more abundant God�s resources are than mine!

I am not at all trying to advocate trying to take advantage of God by using Him like a giant vending machine for anything that we may like or being discontent with what we have or what we are given, but I am suggesting that we not underestimate His majesty and great love for us. Even though we are mere beggars when it comes to God, He gladly gives to us out of love. Let us ask Him from the truth of our hearts and praise Him for His goodne
ss.

Squatty Potty Adventure

2005-07-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went to Damascus for a cultural experience and some cheap shopping. This is where I had my very first ever encounter with squatty potties. Incase you don't know what a squatty potty is, it is a whole in the ground where you go potty. In America we are blessed to not have this utility that much of the world considers more sanitary than our toilets. My warning for you is if you are every headed for Syria, don't drink a liter o
f water before you head over the boarder, like I did. I really needed to go when we were at the border, but the bus driver assured me that right across the boarder the facilities were much nicer and cleaner. When we got there to my suprise I found squatty potties. I was not excited about the squatty potties at all, but if you got to go, you got to go. Even though I really had to go, I let others go before me so that I could stay back and
learn from a more experienced squatty pottier, the correct possition for squatty potty usage. When I was confident that I could do it, I went in. While I was in there things were not going to bad for the first time, although it was taking me quite a while to get the deed done, it was getting done. Now this is where the story gets interesting. All of a sudden the lights go out. I don't know what to do, so I call for someone to turn the
lights back on, but no one knew how to. I was stuck in the dark with my squatty potty. I some how managed to make it out of there, with out stepping in it. It was a great first experience.

Clarification on Lindsay Wilson

2005-07-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

It has been brought to my attention, that not everyone one knows the story behind why I want to be just like Lindsay Wilson. Last summer when my friend Lindsay Wilson was in Central Asia, she was lighting a water heater, when she also was attacked by a ball of fire, unfortunately she lost one of her eyebrows as well as her eyelashes. It was a sad day, but she got better. Lindsay Wilson has lived to tell this story many times. She now lives in the comfort of Norman, OK and if you would like to hear the story straight from her, she would be glad to tell it again.

Loving People

2005-06-28T11:21:00.000-07:00

God has been teaching me a lot about loving people. The night before the first time we talked, I was walking to the internet cafe and God showed me that I tend to get frustrated with things I don't understand. Like the homeless people. Everyday beggars come up to me on the street and ask me for money. God's word says to give to everyone who asks of you, but the people here say not to give them money. I found myself being so frustrated when the beggar kids would come up to me. I wanted to yell at them, because I didn't know the right thing to do. I would give them the least amount of money I had. Then I would walk away frustrated because I felt like I gave out of obligation and that even what I gave wouldn't be used well or would really help them. When I finally gave it to the Lord and looked at His word, I realized that there were other options. I started carrying food around with me and when they asked me for food I will give them what I have. God also showed me t
hat Jesus really touched people with His love. I gave one girl a bottle of water and a kiss on the forehead. You should have seen the look she gave me. She was so surprised. I wasn't frustrated about it anymore. This problem isn't really isolated to this one event, but to all different areas of my life. I get mad if I don't know how to communicate what I want to say or if I don't know the right way to respond to a situation. SLOWLY I am learning that if I will give all these things to God, He will show me what to do. I need patience and faith in this, because He doesn't always show me in my time and I don't always trust that He will really show it to me.

I want to be just like Lindsay Wilson

2005-06-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

Really the truth is that I want to be just like Lindsay Wilson, what can I say? Saturday ‎morning my roommate, Ashley, and I got up early to make Diana a cake for her birthday. ‎In order to make this cake we had to first light the oven. I would like to tell you that the ‎oven we have isn’t just any oven. It definitely looks like an easy bake oven. It doesn’t ‎even have any way of telling what the temperature is inside the oven. Combine
this with ‎the fact that trying to substitute ingredients for an American cake recipe in a country ‎where you don’t really understand all the labels anyway and you have no way of ‎measuring how much of anything you are actually putting in made making the cake a lot ‎of fun (I can’t speak for Ashley, but I’m not being sarcastic). Anyway back to the ‎lighting of the oven. We only had two matches and the first time we tried to light the ‎ove
n it got turned off, then we tried to light it again and it didn’t work. Next we tried a ‎lighter we got from the convenience store down stairs. It didn’t work and then we broke ‎it anyway. So we had to walk across the neighborhood to the local grocery store. We ‎bought some matches and came back to light it. Now I have to tell you that there is more ‎to this ghetto oven. The oven door doesn’t stay open by itself, you have to hold the
door ‎open and then you have to somehow strike the match with one hand. It is possible only ‎somewhat difficult and hard to do while trying not to let the gas run too long. I needed ‎Ashley to help me light the stove, but I was being impatient and tried to light it myself. ‎That was my first mistake. My second mistake was deciding that the reason, the oven ‎didn’t light the second time was because we didn’t let the gas run long enough.
The ‎combination of letting the gas run for awhile and then trying to light the match was over ‎the top. When I finally got the match lit, a stream of fire came out of the oven and singed ‎off my arm hair as well parts of my eyebrows and my bangs.‎

I do have to give props to Lindsay though, I still have my eyelashes.‎

Thankfulness

2005-06-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

I prayed for three things this summer before I came to Beirut. I prayed that the Lord would teach me to
1. Depend on Him more
2. Be thankful in all circumstances
3. Be hungry for His word.
My first week here has been really hard. If it hasn�t been one thing it has been another. I have had 2 or 3 sleepless nights, I was really sore and could barely move after we walked 9 miles one day, I got really sunburned and a heel spur, one day we had some conflict with my friends and to top everything off I have fleas in my bed.

This morning we went to run on the Boardwalk by the Mediterranean Sea and I started to tell the Lord how frustrated I was with everything. He reminded me that I had asked Him to teach me to depend on Him and to be more thankful this summer. Then He reminded me of an except from Corrie Ten Boom�s The Hiding Place, that Daniel told me a long time ago was his favorite part. There is a time when Corrie and her sister, Betsey, are in a Nazi concentration camp and they are shoved into this room with hundreds of other women. They have to sleep four or five to a bed and on top of all of that there are fleas everywhere. Corrie is so frustrated with everything especially the fleas and her sister says to her, �Corrie, we have to thank God for the fleas.�

Today I thanked God for the fleas.

Balcony Observations

2005-06-03T13:48:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don�t know I am in Beirut as of last night. If you would like a copy of my update letter, leave me a comment with your email address and I will add you to the list. If a lot of people comment I may just add them to the blog. (If you have an opinion of whether you think posting the updates would be redundant or not your comments are welcome, too).

Today I was reading the bible out on my huge balcony, listening to the hustle and bustle of busy life in Beirut. I was reading in Acts 17 where Paul delivers the sermon on Mars Hill. I found the philosopher�s worldview strangely familiar to the worldviews of many in my generation. They were �open� to ideas that were new; almost like they knew what they had didn�t satisfy. They thought themselves tolerant (in today�s definition of the word), but they couldn�t get past the power of God. They sneered at the resurrection of Christ as something that seemed impossible and almost crazy, but they worshipped images that were made by human hands. The craziest part to me is that they openly acknowledge that there was more about God that they didn�t know, but when Paul claimed that Jesus was raised from the dead, they immediately claimed it to be impossible. It is a lot like the spirituality of today�s generation. Christians talk about the power of Jesus and are labeled as weak
or irrational, but if someone talks about Buddha, wicka, or other new or different idea there are those that will flock to it. Some replace science for God. They see understanding the universe as stable and are unwilling to believe something that they can�t prove. My heart is to pray for these that God may open their hearts to see that God is more than we see in this world, but there is also an upside to the story. In verse 34, it says that some men joined Paul and believed. This is the most exciting part. Paul walked away and some had believed. It makes all the anxiety and frustration that comes along with sharing Christ worth it. This was so encouraging to me today and I hope it can be as encouraging to you.

Posting via email

2005-05-27T23:24:00.000-07:00

I just figured out how to post using my email so I am trying it out.

My First Blog

2005-03-26T13:11:00.000-08:00

I am setting up this blog so that I can post what God is doing in my life. Right now life is crazy with my Capstone class ... but freedom is on the way (41 more days).