Ugly Betty

I really like the new show Ugly Betty.

Lost

I didn't see lost this week! Somebody please give me an update.

Leaning Completely on GOD

Leaning completely on God. You know those times in your life where God has put you in a spot where you have no choice, but to completely trust in Him. I am in one of those spots. I am living by myself and doing a job that is challenging to say the least. I never realized how much of my self-worth is wrapped up in being successful. I am learning that I really don't like to be wrong and when I am I don't react very well. I feel lost without people nearby to be around and do things with. I feel like a Psalmist so much lately. My prayers start out, with me angry, confused, tired, and sad and end up relieved, praising God, and ready to face the next obsticle. So will this blog. The Lord is my Protector and Provider and He is so good to be teaching me and making me more like Him. I am not overwhelmed because He is taking care of everything. I am learning to wait and let Him take care of things... He will and they will be better than my plans, too.

Twists and Turns of Life

I always thought that life was a certain way: Adults are just, fair, and good; Everyone has a clear and direct purpose; We all live happily ever after. Life isn't that way. How do we have joy when we look at life in the wrecked state it is in? I think we have to put our hope in the only thing that will never fail us.

Lebanon

All my American friends who were stuck in Lebanon are safe and in the US. My Lebanese friends I still worry about. I don't know how they are doing. I got an email from one saying that they are very scared and they and their entire family are huddled together in a 1 room house just outside of the Muslim side of town. They could get out and go to the Philipeans, but it would take a lot of money. Keep praying

Dream Job

Yesterday I was reading a book about finding your dream job. One of the exercises is to draw your dream world. When I was doing that I started to think about all the things I want out of life. It surprised me at how many of those things I ignore on a regular basis. I still haven't figured out what my ideal job would be, though.

Living Dead

These guys at work have a blood pressure measuring device. When I tried it it showed that my blood pressure was 84/43. I tried it twice and they were similar Average blood pressure is 120/80. One of the other guys tried it and his was 119/79. I don't know if the device is wrong or if my blood pressure is really that low.

Exciting Date

Leonard's coming tomorrow!

hmm... it doesn't feel as exciting to me when I don't use his real name.

What's to Become of Me?

I have been pondering my purpose a lot lately. I keep trying to figure out what I could do that would be pleasing to God. Should I be an engineer? resturant owner? house wife? missionary?

There is a quote by Eric Little that goes something like, "God made me for a purpose, that purpose is for China, but He also made to run and when I run I feel His pleasure.” It keeps coming back to me. What could I do to evoke pleasure from God? I run through the list again. Maybe I am missing something maybe I am not thinking productive enough, or too productive, or too big, or too small.

I don't think I am missing anything. I don't think I am supposed to know right now. I do know that I am supposed to trust Him and be obedient in what He is telling me to do today. Maybe my quote should be something like, "God made me for a purpose, that purpose only He knows, but when I trust Him I feel His pleasure."

Marriage

I have been reading Mere Christianity (by C.S. Lewis) lately. Today I read the Christian Morality chapter about Marriage. Clive says that being "in love" doesn't last. He says that being in love is like starting a new hobby, after a while the hobby isn't as exciting as it used to be. You now move on to being coming an expert at that hobby, but in order to feel the excitement that you first felt when doing that hobby you have to discover something new.

At first I thought, what's the point? Why even get married? If the only purpose of marriage is commitment and companionship why not just find a faithful friend and commit to stick it out through thick and thin?

Then I realized that he defined being "in love" as something very different than I did. He defined being in love as being completely infatuated with something to the point that it would squash out every other interest in your life (you will have to read the book I do not intend on drawing out his whole arguement). To me being "in love" means wanting to share life with that person. When I am in love, I don't want to quit having other friends or doing other fun things I want to do or relate them with that other person. I don't want them to quit finding other people or things interesting, in fact I want quit the opposite. One of the things I love about Leonard is that he has a lust for life. He loves hobbies and finding out new facts. I love that he loves those things and that he shares them with me. I love doing the same. The only love that I have any desire to keep my future husband from is love for another woman. I only want to keep him from that because our commitment is the heart of our relationship and his loving another woman threatens that.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Oh, by the way my hair and arm smell much better.